Category Archives: Patch Board

While the ego would argue that there’s a different kind of love for different kinds of relationship, the spiritual basics of relationship are the same no matter what form a relationship takes

Whether you’re my business acquaintance or a family member, the issue is this: Am I meeting you on the level of my personality, or am I extending to you the gift of my love? Am I here to judge you, or to forgive you? The answers will determine what happens next. Relationship Assignments Continue reading

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Experiencing People, Shared / Mutual / Compassionate Experiences + Work Relationships

research shows you are most likely to look trustworthy to others and be liked if you first exhibit warmth and then competence, not the reverse.

http://www.sayitbetter.com/2016/07/pull-others-closer-bring-out-their-better-side/
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We talk about – Why do happy couples…

We talk about: – Why do happy couples cheat? – The language of infidelity – How modern marriage is evolving – My definition of an affair https://www.estherperel.com/aspen-ideas-festival-infidelity-and-the-future-of-relationships/ Continue reading

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Will the Labour new economy be people-centred?

“Traditional capitalism is an insufficient economic model allowing monetary outcomes as the bottom line with little regard to social needs. Bottom line must be taken one step further by at least some companies, past profit, to people. How profits are used is equally as important as creation of profits. Where profits can be brought to bear by willing individuals and companies to social benefit, so much the better. Moreover, this activity must be recognized and supported at government policy level as a badly needed, essential, and entirely legitimate enterprise activity.”

The statement above came in 2004, from a business plan shared with the social enterprise community and several branches of goverment.  It came with a warning about social unrest:

“The opportunity for poverty relief was identified not only as a moral imperative, but also as an increasingly pressing strategic imperative. People left to suffer and languish in poverty get one message very clearly: they are not important and do not matter. They are in effect told that they are disposable, expendable. Being left to suffer and die is, for the victim, little different than being done away with by more direct means. Poverty, especially where its harsher forms exist, puts people in self-defence mode, at which point the boundaries of civilization are crossed and we are back to the law of the jungle: kill or be killed. While the vast majority of people in poverty suffer quietly and with little protest, it is not safe to assume that everyone will react the same way. When in defence of family and friends, it is completely predictable that it should be only a matter of time until uprisings become sufficient to imperil an entire nation or region of the world. People with nothing have nothing to lose. Poverty was therefore deemed not only a moral catastrophe but also a time bomb waiting to explode.”

That same year, founder Terry Hallman was interviewed by a leader of the Crimean Tatar diaspora about his recent efforts to stimulate local economy conditions. He described the success of  a community microfinance bank in a project he’d sourced in Tomsk Russia:     

“Essentially, P-CED challenges conventional capitalism as an insufficient economic paradigm, as evidenced by billions of people in the world living in poverty in capitalist countries and otherwise. Under the conventional scheme, capitalism – enterprise for profit – has certainly transformed much of the world and created a new breed of people in capitalist societies, the middle class. That is a good thing. But, capitalism seems to have developed as far as it can to produce this new class of fairly comfortable people between rich and poor, at least in the West where it has flourished for quite some time.

The problem is that profit and money still tend to accumulate in the hands of comparatively few people. Money, symbolically representing wealth and ownership of material assets, is not an infinite resource. When it accumulates in enormous quantities in the hands of a few people, that means other people are going to be denied. If everyone in the world has enough to live a decent life and not in poverty, then there is no great problem with some people having far more than they need. But, that’s not the case, and there are no rules in the previous capitalist system to fix that. Profit and numbers have no conscience, and anything done in their name has been accepted as an unavoidable aspect of capitalism.”



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Do you want what wants?

You accept what wants to come through you without the judgment, self-shaming and fear that sent these parts of yourself so deeply underground in the first place.

http://justinemusk.com/2015/11/05/the-enemy-of-creativity-is-the-culture-of-daily-life
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Will you still accept me, love me and find me desirable if you know me?

If you disclose the information too soon, you’re likely to be judged and a potential partner may not want to deal with the complications that your history might bring. If you wait too long to disclose, you risk your partner feeling that you’re not being honest, that you’ve withheld important information. http://www.estherperel.com/2015/06/establishing-trust-talking-about-your-past Continue reading

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Like Rachel many women need to start by…

Like Rachel, many women need to start by getting to know the guy, see if they like him, if they enjoy his company. That is quite different from gauging if you are attracted to someone or making sure that he is attracted to you. Discovering your similarity of interests and values, the sense that he […] Continue reading

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From Bliss to Bitch — and Back

Passion has an edge of war. It points to what we want so much that we’re afraid to want it. The ambiguity of hope. The fear of not getting. The fear of getting. http://justinemusk.com/2015/04/20/passion-isnt-nice-it-is-the-mark-of-lovers-rebels Continue reading

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Our fantasies allow us to negate and undo the limits put upon us by our conscience, by our culture, and by our self-image

If we feel insecure and unattractive, in our fantasies we are irresistible. If we anticipate a withholding woman, in fantasy she’s insatiable; if we fear our own aggression, in our internal reveries we can feel powerful without worrying we might hurt another. http://www.estherperel.com/2015/03/what-is-fantasy/ Continue reading

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Love moves you out of your self, and out of your head, and out of your closet

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