Tag Archives: self

If we see Cuba as a representation of our essential human need for connection, it’s clear that loving and leaving someone still happens in person

even though we live in a digitalized world where our screens are glued to our hands, human connection is all-powerful: at some essential level we still need to meet someone, to talk to them, to interact, especially in order to seduce them.

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Will you still accept me, love me and find me desirable if you know me?

If you disclose the information too soon, you’re likely to be judged and a potential partner may not want to deal with the complications that your history might bring. If you wait too long to disclose, you risk your partner feeling that you’re not being honest, that you’ve withheld important information. http://www.estherperel.com/2015/06/establishing-trust-talking-about-your-past Continue reading

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Our fantasies allow us to negate and undo the limits put upon us by our conscience, by our culture, and by our self-image

If we feel insecure and unattractive, in our fantasies we are irresistible. If we anticipate a withholding woman, in fantasy she’s insatiable; if we fear our own aggression, in our internal reveries we can feel powerful without worrying we might hurt another. http://www.estherperel.com/2015/03/what-is-fantasy/ Continue reading

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Love moves you out of your self, and out of your head, and out of your closet

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We create the world we live in by the stories we choose to tell about it

The best stories, the ones that last, contain nutritional value that teaches us how to do this; how to grow into heroes willing to sacrifice themselves for the people they love and the ideals they believe in.

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I see myself as a part of the world around me (not only my immediate environment, but indeed the entire universe) — and therefore when I support others, I am also supporting myself

To be perpetually self-conscious is to be anxious and miserable, trapped in the narrative in your head instead of engaged with the reality outside it. We need the world, we need love for something of the world so that we can lose ourselves in it and f… Continue reading

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Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning “beginner’s mind”

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Wrong means someone has made a mistake that they can learn from, never learning from a mistake because you never see a wrong is something people can walk away from

That’s a quote from my very good friend Emily — who I miss more than I can tell (even though I have never met her “in real life”). I’m happy we were able to connect again today, and I also … Continue reading
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